Possum Roast

Ed Keenan, cowboy poet

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Possum Roast

Now I got this cowboy recipe
From an old chuck wagon cook,
For many years he kept it hid
In his private cookin book.

For shore a good ol’ possum roast
Ain’t for every greenhorn,
But it’s mighty appetizin grub
With roastin ears of corn.

Start by gettin a new-sawn board,
The best is knotty pine,
And soak that shingle over night
In your favorite berry wine.

That cuts the fresh woody smell
Of turpentine and sap,
And the taste of leavin a possum
Too long in the trap.

Catch a youngin full of berries
And apples in the fall,
One grubbin roots and wild nuts
They’re the best of all.

Scald and scrape it like a hog
Until it’s slick and clean,
Make sure not to gall the tail
Because it’s thin and lean.

Skin it careful like a boot-sock
Down to the hardest part,
Peel the skin right off the tail
It’s a real work of real art.

Gut it like a cottontail rabbit
And never stick the belly,
Cause rupturing a fat possum gut
Can leave ya awful smelly.

Fix a sweet crabapple stuffin
With corn meal raisin stuff,
Add some hooch ‘n branch water
Or he might be real tough.

Now rub’em down with pepper
And with some salt ’n spices,
Stuff him like a wild turkey
You’d roast for dinner slices.

Lay ‘em face down on his belly
In all the fat and juices,
Surrounded with red Irish taters,
The spud of many uses.

Cook ‘em on that clean pine board
No matter how you trim it,
‘Cause the greasy smell of possum
Is bound to ruin your skillet.

Roast ‘em ‘til it’s lickin tender
Soakin up the piney wood,
Baste in lots of sage ‘n drippins
Like a chef in Paris would.

When he’s all done a’roastin
And you’re truly satisfied,
Stuff this critter that you cooked
Back in his own rawhide.

Place him on the board again
To shrinkwrap till he’s leaner,
Be careful not to overheat
You’ve got a possum wiener!

Now here’s the cooks hidden secret
The best recipe of his horde,
Feed that stuffed roast to the dogs
And eat the white pine board!